My Week

A quick post today with a random thought. 

Just wondering if anyone else has had one of "those" weeks recently. 

The weeks where it seems like every public establishment I have taken my children to they become little monsters whom I swear I have never seen before. 

Honestly, at Kohl's today Kate was shouting things at me that reminded me of the little girl on the Exorcist (the original) and Neddy just whined over and over, "Off! Off! All done, maaaaammmaaaaa!" You would have thought that they put hot coals under the seat of her cart. 

If you didn't hear us out in public this week, you definitely saw us -- like Kate running behind the photo booth at Target then curling up in the middle of the aisle to play hide and seek because if she can't see me, I definitely can't see her, or both of my girls sticking their arms out in the shoe department of Kohl's and knocking all of the boxes off the shelves. 

While walking to our car after each errand, I was pretty sure I could hear the entire store cheering because we finally left.

Anybody with me on this?

Life on the Back Burner

I have been thinking a lot about this post. Again, I am not sure I want to publish this piece but I do feel that it is something I have in common with many of you.  

"Mommy-Guilt" is something that I am all too familiar with and, quite frankly, very intrigued by. I had heard the phrase before becoming Mom but I didn't realize how severe things could really become. 

Guilt has been the new and unwanted friend in my life for the past two years. Not a moment goes by that I don't feel guilty about something. It consumes me in every decision that I make because with every decision I do make there is a choice left on the back burner....usually it is a choice for myself. 

Do I pick exercising, playing with my kids, or preparing for writing conferences the next day? Do I buy a new pair of shoes for school or the hammer that Kate has been wanting (Elmo featured a theme around building things this week)? Do I take a shower in peace or do I get my kids out of their cribs and try to squeeze in a shower (with an audience) later in the day or do I wait until nap time and walk around like a greaser all morning? Do I take a much needed night out with friends or do I stay home with my kids because a sitter is expensive and I should be at home raising my kids -- not someone else?

Now, I know common sense would tell me that it is okay to make choices with myself in mind sometimes, but it is not that simple. Rationality goes out the window when you let the Mommy Guilt in. 

So I find myself trying to do it all: I can exercise at 4:30 in the morning, play with my kids until 7:30 bed time, and then plan for writing conferences after they are in bed. This, again, seems like a logical use of time.... So, for those of you that haven't already tried to be this kind of person, try it. I dare you. You will find there is no time for anything else. Where does poor Brent schedule his time with me? What if his scheduled time with me doesn't work with his routines?

It's a delicate balance and I am still trying to admit that (gulp) I can't do it all. 

How can you help people (Moms and Dads) like me? First, when I try to take exercise out of my day remind me how much I hate my butt. Encourage me to buy the new shoes. The stupid hammer can wait until Christmas. They have too many toys anyway. Don't judge me when I shower and my kids are playing noisily in their cribs. Also, don't judge me on the days where I am a greaser until 1 or the day that you might stop over and everyone (including dog) is in the bathroom screaming because Mom is trying to take a shower. 

Just understand that sometimes I need help getting off the back burner.

Discoveries

I have stated in previous posts that I am not a very good stay-at-home mother. And that truth remains unchanged to date. However, when you live in this house you save a quick buck anyway you can so that means that summers are spent at home so we can save on childcare. Not that our amazing childcare provider is even close to being overpriced, but every little bit helps. 

This summer has been a little easier with the girls because they are getting bigger. They are not on such rigid schedules and they are starting to discover the world. My favorite thing to do is watch my kids learn (it's the teacher in me.) 

Often these amazing discoveries lead to some very quotable moments. I always say that I need to write these things down so I will always remember, but where does one write these things down? A notebook? Really? Is that supposed to stand the tests of time? This has always been something I have struggled with, even as a teacher. You wouldn't believe the oodles of stories and quotes we get from your children! I wish I had a special place to keep them so I could read through them whenever I needed a pick-me-up. If you have any ideas, please share!

I will keep searching but in the mean time, I must share with you Kate's most recent discovery (a bit premature if I might say so) followed by a memorable quote that I will need to write down somewhere as soon as I find where that somewhere is...

We were playing at a friends house this week. Kate and Neddy were excited to have different toys in front of them and playmates other than each other. Being that these friends were boys, added to the excitement because they have cool toys like cars and trucks! 

Just as we were cleaning up to go home, Kate's friend needed a diaper change. Kate explained to him that he needed to go "big brown poop potty" (she knows all the rules but she doesn't follow them.) 

As noted in my post about bathroom time at our house, Kate loves to see poop. She looks in the potty, she wants to see her dirty diapers. I don't know, she's a weird kid, what can I say?

So she, of course, wanted to see her friend's poopy diaper. She peered into her friends diaper and looked up at me with a rather puzzled look. Then she questioned innocently: Silas have a tail?

Oh dear God!

I panicked? What does one say to a two year old? I don't think I want to give her misconceptions that boys have tails?! And she wasn't walking away! She wanted an answer!

So I started, "No Kate. Silas is a boy. He has a......weiner." 

Is that right? Or do I say penis? I call it a weiner, so shouldn't she call it a weiner?

"Landon have weiner too." 

Thank Heavens! The sitter already had this conversation with her!

I thought the talk was done because she went about her business until we got in the car. It was then that we had to have the full conversation:

Girls have toots (a name she came up with on her own). And boys have weiners. Everybody has a butt. 

She has not brought it up since then. I know she is saving it for the most inappropriate time possible.... Heaven help me!

When Will They Know?

Since I have started blogging about our adoption and our busy life, I have had many people tell me that they enjoy reading these entries because it answers questions that they have had about adoption but they have always been too afraid to ask. I hope people now know that I am a pretty open person and am willing to answer most questions, so feel free to fire away at any time.

One question that seems to come up frequently is: When will you tell your girls that they were adopted. The answer to this question, for many adoptive families, is much different than it would have been maybe ten years ago. Adoption has come a long way since then. It is not a "dirty little secret" anymore. Hey if all the celebrities are doing it, it must be cool right?

There is no magic age for us. It is not a surprise that we will unleash on our children when we feel that they are old enough. We will not be sitting down with our girls at any time to say: Hey, guess what?

Adoption is such a big part of our family life that our girls already just know. It is a part of them as much as that beautiful red hair of theirs! Being able to have relationships with their birth families helps with this. We also have different picture books on adoption on their library shelves. One of Kate's favorites right now is something the adoption world calls a Life Book. It is the story of her adoption. It begins with her birthmother and birthfather and ends with our adoption day or Gotcha Day as we call it. Kate likes to identify the members of her large family through the pictures in this book. And in case you were wondering, she still has a baby book with all of her firsts (though I am not as good at keeping up with it as I should be.) 

So, now you can rest-assured that we won't be dropping a bomb of information on them when they hit a certain level of maturity. 

In case you want more, take a peek:

Click here to view this photo book larger

Photo Book Tip: Create an adventurous travel photo album at Shutterfly.com.