What I Learned from the NFL Ref Lock-out Part 1

I have given myself some time to heal from the MNF fiasco. As you can see, we are huge sports fans at our house, in our family, and we usually take these losses quite hard...especially hubby. He can be found pacing back and forth wearing the carpet thin during a Packer game. He has gotten better with time. With a loss, he used to pout and act like he was just diagnosed with a terminal illness for at least 3 days and then he would move on just in time for the next game. As of late, he has been able to suffer in silence and then sees that there are much bigger things in life to stress about (he usually chooses gas prices or the ozone layer -- you know, things he can control). 

I am not going to lie, I even felt a little gray cloud following me around in the morning. To make matters worse, I had to go into a room of 24 students. Going to my beloved classroom was not the hard part. The hard part was listening to all of them parrot back their parents' interpretations of the big game. Some parents are pro-Packers, some not.

Then came the moment of truth..."Mrs. Sanderfoot, how did you feel about that game last night?"
As  teacher, I am supposed to teach these children to be open-minded and to accept others and to have good character. So I avoided the question with, "Oh my, what a rough game."
Yet, my buddy Nick pressed on, "But did you think it was a touchdown?"
I avoided further, "It was a tough call to make." In my head all I could think was: No it wasn't. It was so clearly an interception.
Nick still wasn't satisfied, "Mrs. Sanderfoot, did you think it was a bad call? My dad said the refs sucked."

I can agree or I can make this a teachable moment. And this is where I had an epiphany (good word, right?).

I had just read a book to my students about the Girl Who Never Makes Mistakes. The title kind of gives away the plot but the important lesson in the story is that everyone makes mistakes and we need to get a sense of humor about them and move on. Time for the"text to world connection." 

Everyone makes mistakes everyday -- big and small. Now imagine that your mistakes were broadcast on national television and then everyone repeatedly analyzed your mistake for a full week afterward on ESPN and local/national news stations. 

You would see that moment when my mouth can't find the right words, you would definitely see me falling or tripping up the stairs (Grace is not my middle name), you would see me lose my temper with my kids, and even forget to save my receipt from grocery shopping so that hubby  could balance my check-book. While some parts would be quite entertaining for others, I would have to relive those mistakes over and over. 
Now it is obviously easier if people admit that they made a mistake so that we can forgive and try to forget, but who likes to do that.
So that is how I explained it to my students. Hopefully I taught them a little about empathy and forgiveness. And it is a great reminder to myself each time I see that interception....I mean mistake replayed on TV.
Part 2 maybe later....I have to get ready for school. Have a great day!
t

Sweating It Out

Neddy had a doctor's appointment last week. I hate bringing my children to the doctor. They each grow horns and a tail the minute we step through the fascinating motorized-assistance doors. 
Have you ever noticed that the doctor's office is always kept at a steamy 85 degrees? Why do they do this? It is so blasted hot in there and then I get embarrassed because my kids are licking the fish tank or breaking toys so I sweat more. Then I am forced to keep the madness to a minimum in a tiny room for 20 minutes while I wait for the doctor to grace us with her presence. This causes sweat rings to form under my arms and around my neck. I can't imagine what I look like when she finally enters the room.
This particular visit Kate decided to develop OCD and had to wash her hands 50 times. At her 51st request, I denied her and she threw herself on the floor for a tantrum that I have never seen before. She ended up in time out. A second fit started upon reentry to the world when she realized that we were at an appointment for Neddy and the doctor wasn't going to look in her ears. She went back to time out and then screamed, "I TIIIIIRED! I NEEEDDD GO BED! I NEEEED NUKKKK-EEEEEE!!" Awesome. Now the doctor knows that you still get a nuk. Get ready for dirty looks and a scolding.
Then it was discovered that Neddy had a red throat and might have strep. Why didn't I know this? Way to go loser mom. Your kid might be really sick which is probably why she has been so naughty lately. We survived the awesome strep test and then just whined and cried for the remainder of the appointment. Truthfully I got nothing out of it but an increase in my body temperature and lots of pit stains. I couldn't hear anything over the screams and whines of my children. 
We went to the front desk to schedule an appointment for Neddy's 18 month visit. The nurse was trying to schedule me for the wrong month. I tried to explain. She didn't want to hear. I think she just wanted us to leave. Kate was pounding on the fish tank. Neddy was climbing under the tunnels of chairs. It was loud. I was sweating more.
Then came the unexpected. A boy came sprinting at me from across the room. He was the same height as me (which doesn't say much) but clearly a boy. Stepped into my "hula hoop" of space and wiggled his fingers at the base of my neck....and kept wiggling them....and kept wiggling them. All I could mutter was, "OH!"
His mother came across the room with baby on her hip and said, "C'mon. Let's go." 
His fingers kept wiggling. 
I grabbed his hands and said, "You need to go."
Then I stood there feeling assaulted and laughing to myself because the poor kid probably had sweat all over his hands. 
The nurse stared at me and said, "Well! I guess you don't see that everyday!"
"No you don't!"
Then nurse number two proceeded to overreact, "Oh my! That is not okay! You must be so frightened!"
I figured that the boy was somewhere on the spectrum and I tried to explain to her that I am a teacher and have worked with many kids like that but she continued. I couldn't wait to leave. I started sweating all over again.
At first I was irritated with that mother for not saying, "Excuse us" or "I'm sorry" or even offer an explanation like "He has autism."
Now I understand that she was just trying to survive the doctor's office too. I hope her appointment went better than mine!

Appreciate the Quiet

That's right, friends! I am back to school and have added a "hat" back to my everyday wear. That means my posts will be short and few and far between.

It has been an interesting start to the school year. We had some sitter conflicts on the first week back and my wonderful step-mother and dad took the little Reds to their house for a couple of nights to help out. This was a dream come true. I always looked at other families that have grandparents take the kids for the night or week and felt totally jealous. So when this opportunity presented itself, I jumped at it...and then cried my eyes out on the way home.

I am such a dork. I couldn't get over the fact that my backseat was empty of car seats and toys leaving behind only random fruit loops and crusty french fries. There was no Elmo blaring on the DVD players behind my head, and no one was shouting or fighting behind me. It was quiet. Was life this quiet before the girls? Why, oh why didn't I appreciate it more?

So here's the thing, everyone has always said, oh...your life must be so busy with such busy little girls! And I always agreed but deep inside I thought, not really. So maybe I am missing something? Maybe I am not doing something right? 

Well, it turns out, life was CRAZY busy! It took my kids leaving for a few nights to realize that I didn't have to get up at 5 and run around like my hair was on fire to get everyone diapered, changed, fed, packed, and in the car by 7:15. I was actually able to watch TV, exercise, get a coffee from the coffee shop, and be early to work and stay late without guilt! It was amazing! And I did it two days in a row!

But the bad part was my heart hurt. It felt as empty as our backseat. 

So I gladly went to get my girls to fill my life back up again. I was happy as a clam until somewhere in the car around the 45 minute mark of playing "hide-and-seek nuk" in the car. 
Kate hides the nuk cleverly under her leg (yes, each time is in the same spot.) Then she says, "Momma where nuk go?"
"I don't know?"
"Is in oven?" (At home we always look in the oven first...)
"Is it in the oven, Kate?"
"Nope! Is at park on swings?"
"Is it at the park on the swings, Kate?"
"Nope! (giggle, giggle) Is under my weg?"
"Is it under your leg?"
"AAAHHHH!"

Cute, right? Until you hit the 45 minute mark of the game on repeat. Then you would want to jerk the wheel too! Why, oh why didn't I appreciate that quiet more?

My Week

A quick post today with a random thought. 

Just wondering if anyone else has had one of "those" weeks recently. 

The weeks where it seems like every public establishment I have taken my children to they become little monsters whom I swear I have never seen before. 

Honestly, at Kohl's today Kate was shouting things at me that reminded me of the little girl on the Exorcist (the original) and Neddy just whined over and over, "Off! Off! All done, maaaaammmaaaaa!" You would have thought that they put hot coals under the seat of her cart. 

If you didn't hear us out in public this week, you definitely saw us -- like Kate running behind the photo booth at Target then curling up in the middle of the aisle to play hide and seek because if she can't see me, I definitely can't see her, or both of my girls sticking their arms out in the shoe department of Kohl's and knocking all of the boxes off the shelves. 

While walking to our car after each errand, I was pretty sure I could hear the entire store cheering because we finally left.

Anybody with me on this?

Life on the Back Burner

I have been thinking a lot about this post. Again, I am not sure I want to publish this piece but I do feel that it is something I have in common with many of you.  

"Mommy-Guilt" is something that I am all too familiar with and, quite frankly, very intrigued by. I had heard the phrase before becoming Mom but I didn't realize how severe things could really become. 

Guilt has been the new and unwanted friend in my life for the past two years. Not a moment goes by that I don't feel guilty about something. It consumes me in every decision that I make because with every decision I do make there is a choice left on the back burner....usually it is a choice for myself. 

Do I pick exercising, playing with my kids, or preparing for writing conferences the next day? Do I buy a new pair of shoes for school or the hammer that Kate has been wanting (Elmo featured a theme around building things this week)? Do I take a shower in peace or do I get my kids out of their cribs and try to squeeze in a shower (with an audience) later in the day or do I wait until nap time and walk around like a greaser all morning? Do I take a much needed night out with friends or do I stay home with my kids because a sitter is expensive and I should be at home raising my kids -- not someone else?

Now, I know common sense would tell me that it is okay to make choices with myself in mind sometimes, but it is not that simple. Rationality goes out the window when you let the Mommy Guilt in. 

So I find myself trying to do it all: I can exercise at 4:30 in the morning, play with my kids until 7:30 bed time, and then plan for writing conferences after they are in bed. This, again, seems like a logical use of time.... So, for those of you that haven't already tried to be this kind of person, try it. I dare you. You will find there is no time for anything else. Where does poor Brent schedule his time with me? What if his scheduled time with me doesn't work with his routines?

It's a delicate balance and I am still trying to admit that (gulp) I can't do it all. 

How can you help people (Moms and Dads) like me? First, when I try to take exercise out of my day remind me how much I hate my butt. Encourage me to buy the new shoes. The stupid hammer can wait until Christmas. They have too many toys anyway. Don't judge me when I shower and my kids are playing noisily in their cribs. Also, don't judge me on the days where I am a greaser until 1 or the day that you might stop over and everyone (including dog) is in the bathroom screaming because Mom is trying to take a shower. 

Just understand that sometimes I need help getting off the back burner.

Discoveries

I have stated in previous posts that I am not a very good stay-at-home mother. And that truth remains unchanged to date. However, when you live in this house you save a quick buck anyway you can so that means that summers are spent at home so we can save on childcare. Not that our amazing childcare provider is even close to being overpriced, but every little bit helps. 

This summer has been a little easier with the girls because they are getting bigger. They are not on such rigid schedules and they are starting to discover the world. My favorite thing to do is watch my kids learn (it's the teacher in me.) 

Often these amazing discoveries lead to some very quotable moments. I always say that I need to write these things down so I will always remember, but where does one write these things down? A notebook? Really? Is that supposed to stand the tests of time? This has always been something I have struggled with, even as a teacher. You wouldn't believe the oodles of stories and quotes we get from your children! I wish I had a special place to keep them so I could read through them whenever I needed a pick-me-up. If you have any ideas, please share!

I will keep searching but in the mean time, I must share with you Kate's most recent discovery (a bit premature if I might say so) followed by a memorable quote that I will need to write down somewhere as soon as I find where that somewhere is...

We were playing at a friends house this week. Kate and Neddy were excited to have different toys in front of them and playmates other than each other. Being that these friends were boys, added to the excitement because they have cool toys like cars and trucks! 

Just as we were cleaning up to go home, Kate's friend needed a diaper change. Kate explained to him that he needed to go "big brown poop potty" (she knows all the rules but she doesn't follow them.) 

As noted in my post about bathroom time at our house, Kate loves to see poop. She looks in the potty, she wants to see her dirty diapers. I don't know, she's a weird kid, what can I say?

So she, of course, wanted to see her friend's poopy diaper. She peered into her friends diaper and looked up at me with a rather puzzled look. Then she questioned innocently: Silas have a tail?

Oh dear God!

I panicked? What does one say to a two year old? I don't think I want to give her misconceptions that boys have tails?! And she wasn't walking away! She wanted an answer!

So I started, "No Kate. Silas is a boy. He has a......weiner." 

Is that right? Or do I say penis? I call it a weiner, so shouldn't she call it a weiner?

"Landon have weiner too." 

Thank Heavens! The sitter already had this conversation with her!

I thought the talk was done because she went about her business until we got in the car. It was then that we had to have the full conversation:

Girls have toots (a name she came up with on her own). And boys have weiners. Everybody has a butt. 

She has not brought it up since then. I know she is saving it for the most inappropriate time possible.... Heaven help me!

When Will They Know?

Since I have started blogging about our adoption and our busy life, I have had many people tell me that they enjoy reading these entries because it answers questions that they have had about adoption but they have always been too afraid to ask. I hope people now know that I am a pretty open person and am willing to answer most questions, so feel free to fire away at any time.

One question that seems to come up frequently is: When will you tell your girls that they were adopted. The answer to this question, for many adoptive families, is much different than it would have been maybe ten years ago. Adoption has come a long way since then. It is not a "dirty little secret" anymore. Hey if all the celebrities are doing it, it must be cool right?

There is no magic age for us. It is not a surprise that we will unleash on our children when we feel that they are old enough. We will not be sitting down with our girls at any time to say: Hey, guess what?

Adoption is such a big part of our family life that our girls already just know. It is a part of them as much as that beautiful red hair of theirs! Being able to have relationships with their birth families helps with this. We also have different picture books on adoption on their library shelves. One of Kate's favorites right now is something the adoption world calls a Life Book. It is the story of her adoption. It begins with her birthmother and birthfather and ends with our adoption day or Gotcha Day as we call it. Kate likes to identify the members of her large family through the pictures in this book. And in case you were wondering, she still has a baby book with all of her firsts (though I am not as good at keeping up with it as I should be.) 

So, now you can rest-assured that we won't be dropping a bomb of information on them when they hit a certain level of maturity. 

In case you want more, take a peek:

Click here to view this photo book larger

Photo Book Tip: Create an adventurous travel photo album at Shutterfly.com.