Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Teenage Pregnancy

I have been working on a post that describes my emotional and mental struggle with becoming a mother. I haven't published it yet because the words don't seem to come out right. I have decided to put it on hold until I can express that in the precise way that I would like.

So...I have decided, instead, to publish a post that continues our adoption story...

After our birthmother told me of her second pregnancy, I have to say I knew almost immediately that this child would become part of our family, even if she didn't know it yet. She had her heart set on trying to raise this baby herself. I was sure she could do it but I wasn't sure about how well she would do it.

I have an extreme addiction to MTV's 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom. I DVR them on Tuesday nights and watch them on the weekends. These shows have received a lot of criticism because society thinks MTV is promoting teenage pregnancy. If you sit down and watch these shows you will see that they actually do quite the opposite. Every time I watch these episodes I think about the babies. They don't choose to get placed into all of that drama. They don't choose to be born to parents that are not together, are young and inexperienced, are unprepared to take care of themselves not to mention a child. I know this chaos isn't the case for all teen pregnancies but it does happen with many of them. I give teen mothers and fathers credit for wanting to try to raise their families but I admire the ones that are strong enough to choose a better life for their babies by creating an adoption plan.

I received the news that our birthmother was pregnant for the second time on a Thursday. By Friday she was in a panic because she didn't want to tell anyone...especially her mother. This led her to contemplate terminating the pregnancy. When she told me, my heart sunk. I knew I needed to be nonjudgmental but I also knew that if she chose abortion, it would haunt her for the rest of her life. I explained to her that I would respect her decision no matter what because I had no idea how she feels (I have never been in that situation so why should I judge?). I also pointed out that if she did not terminate the pregnancy she would have 10 months to either get her life together or create an adoption plan. After conversing back and forth for most of the day on Saturday, she said I had given her a lot to think about. She had plans to talk to her mother on Monday and she would give me a call if she needed me.

I am not a patient person so this wait was very difficult for me. Especially when the news came on Monday that she didn't want to be pregnant again and she had an appointment made at the clinic.

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