I didn't hear anything from our birthmother for a couple of weeks. My heart felt like it was being torn in two just thinking about the fact that my daughter could have had a biological sibling. I didn't know how or if I was going to be able to explain that to her some day.
I personally don't agree with abortion but I also think that each person has a right to make her own choice. I have never been in a situation where abortion could have been an option for me, so it is hard to say that I would never have considered it. I do know that it is not my job to tell other women what I feel is right or wrong.
Nevertheless, I continued to pray to God that He give our birthmother the strength to change her mind. I prayed day and night and my family did the same. I couldn't stop thinking about it. After two weeks of hearing nothing, I assumed this was a done deal. I felt defeated but I didn't quit praying although my prayers did change. Instead of praying for our birthmother to change her mind, I prayed for her heart to heal.
Then came the day I will never forget. It was early November and I was distributing the WKCE tests to my students. I heard my phone vibrate indicating that I had a text message. I got my students started on their tests and walked back to my desk. I looked at my phone and read the text message. "I just want you to know that I went to the clinic and I can't have an abortion. I saw the ultrasound and I can't do that to my baby. I will call you later."
I grinned from ear to ear and praised God under my breath. My mind was going a mile a minute as I sat in silence for the next 40 minutes while my students completed their tests. After snack I hurried the kids off to their specials and rushed back to the classroom. I called and celebrated with my husband and then called our birthmother.
Her mother answered the phone. We talked about how proud we were of her daughter for making such a self-less decision. We talked about the feelings that her family was having. Her mother finally confessed to me, "Tanya, she can't raise this baby. She isn't ready to parent yet. You mentioned that you would raise it. Will you still? It will be very difficult because the kids are only 11 months apart. Can you do it?"
My eyes filled with tears as I said yes -- yes to another baby, yes to another twist in our lives.