One would think now that she had made the decision for adoption that we were in the clear and this is the "happily ever after" of our story. Well things aren't always so cut and dry in my life...especially in the world of adoption.
After our birthmother's mother proposed the idea of a second adoption I contacted our social worker to see how this would work. We decided to take things slowly because our birthmother was barely pregnant. We were still finalizing things for our first daughter.
Our birthmother and I talked to each other once a week through texting or phone calls. She was pretty down on herself for getting pregnant again. I was doing quite a bit of counseling for her because she trusted me and she knew I wouldn't judge her. She was struggling with typical teenage drama: boyfriends, school, "evil" parents :), etc., on top of being that girl that got pregnant again.
We visited her at Christmas in MN and were able to see her little tummy getting bigger with our second child. In January we found out we were expecting another girl! We decided on the name Kennedy Leigh for our baby. We thought Kennedy sounded right with Katelynn (our first daughter) and Leigh was our birthmother's middle name. We continued to prepare our lives and our families for a second child.
February came and all of a sudden the tone in our birthmother's voice changed. She was getting a lot of support from birthfather's family and checking into different resources. One afternoon she called and said, "I have to tell you something." My heart sank because I knew what was coming.
She said she was considering parenting this baby. She was so sorry and didn't want us to hate her or keep Katelynn from having a relationship with her. She just had to try to get her life in order to see if she could do it. She said adoption wasn't off the table but she needed me to know that she wasn't 100% anymore. She was giving herself until the end of March to make a decision. If she couldn't find a job, an apartment, and get a drivers' license by the end of March the it wasn't meant to be.
I remained supportive. This is always a risk in adoption and I knew it had to be her choice even though the outcome meant a broken heart for me. I wasn't sure what to pray for: her failure meant my success and vice versa. God was telling me, yet again, that I am not in control. HE is.