Daddy's Doctor Trip -- For Monika

I finally got permission to share this experience with you. 
I usually take the girls to the doctor's office. Hubby gets very nervous and sweaty in these situations, and hey, who wouldn't? I've learned that it is a "good visit" when we manage to stay in the assigned room. I know that it is physically impossible for our kids to sit on the chairs and read books calmly while the doctor speaks. Daddy still has that vision and that is okay.

When Neddy had one of her well-child checks (I think it was her 9 month check-up), I was unable to bring her for some reason. This caused me a lot of stress because I like hearing information first hand and I had a lot of questions regarding diet, allergies, eczema, etc. She also had to fill out all of the adoption paperwork that needs to be submitted each time we go to the doctor. Hubby insisted that it would be okay if I just wrote down my questions and then he could ask them or hand them to the doctor. I accepted this option.

I returned home from school and was anticipating all of the answers to my questions. Brent was, as usual, too brief for my liking. His first response was: "She's good."
Any woman knows that this is an unacceptable response. So I continued badgering him for details.
He finally added on: "Tanya, she's good. I asked her all of your questions and mine."

Wait a minute. He had "questions"? What kind of "questions"? Did I forget something on my list? Is he going to know something I don't? 

I tried to play it cool. "So, um, what kind of questions did you have?"

Very casually as if asking someone their first name or date of birth, he said, "I asked her why it looks like Neddy doesn't have any nipples."

WHAT! WHY WOULD HE ASK SOMETHING LIKE THAT? O.M.G. -- Now she is going to think this was on my list of questions that I want answered!

I calmly questioned him, "Honey? Why did you ask her that?"

"Because it looks like she doesn't have any nipples. I don't want her to be bullied some day. But don't worry, she said her nipples are fine. They just don't have any pigment yet or something like that."

Please stop saying nipple. Especially when you are discussing our daughter. And how would she get bullied for having no nipples? I am pretty sure we will teach her to not flash people and if she has no nipples, I don't think she would have interest in showing them off. And she is 9 months. Are kids bullying that early now?

"Okay. Do you feel good about that answer? Maybe next time you have a question you could ask me first and I could try to answer it for you?" Because now the doctor thinks it was my question and that I don't understand my own girl parts. 

I swear this question was noted on the Sanderfoot file at the doctor's office. She will never again take me seriously.