Friday, June 14, 2013

I Can't Handle the Truth

I have always found a child's desire to learn to be fascinating. They want to know everything about everything all the time. Maybe it is the teacher in me, but to look at the world with wonder through a child's eyes is something I think adults could benefit from more often. 

Am I the only mother in the world that also finds a child's curiosity to be exhausting? After much self-reflection over the last ten minutes, I have discovered that my children have turned me into a compulsive liar. They no longer accept "Because I said so..." or "I don't know..." or even silence as satisfying explanations to their weird questions. 

"Kate, please don't lick my face." 
"Because it is gross."
"Why is it gross? Because there are germs?"

"Neddy don't hit the dog with the wand."
"Because it will hurt him."
"Because he doesn't like it."

Their incessant "Whys?" and "How comes?" have led me to search for more exciting responses. 

Rummage Sale-ing
"Kate, please don't open that mailbox."
(Normal response: Because it is not ours and that is bad manners.)
"Because there are bees in it and they will sting you."

Drive-thru at McDonald's
"Can we go on the slide at McDonald's?"
(Normal response: Because we are late and we need to get home)
"Because the slide is broken."
"Because a little boy ate too many cheeseburgers and he went down the slide and broke it."

"Mom, I hear a baby crying."
"Why is he crying?"
"Because he is sad."
"Why is he sad?"
(Normal response: I don't know.)
"Because he was standing up in the cart and one of the workers spanked him."

Sometimes my answers teach a lesson, sometimes they are just far fetched stories that I want to see if she will remember, sometimes I don't even know that I am doing it! Unfortunately, my Memory Keeper Kate, seems to store everything that I have ever told her and tends to bring up my stories at times that I deem inappropriate because other adults look at me like, Why would you lie to your kid about that? Answer: I CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH! The regular answers just lead to more questions! 

I realize that some of you will gasp at the thought of me unnecessarily lying to my children. Try to look at it like I do -- it isn't lying, it is maintaining sanity.

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