Friday, April 22, 2011

Open Adoption: A Life Choice

When we originally thought about adoption we, like most people, had an "old-school" vision of it. I am a Lifetime Movie Network fanatic and I have seen "Losing Isaiah" and other traumatic movies where adoption is not portrayed in a positive manner.

My initial impulse was to choose a closed adoption. I didn't want a birthmother coming back and stealing my happiness right out from underneath me! I thought if she didn't know us or have a relationship with us, she would "forget" about us and leave us be. (Wow! Now that I read that, I see how selfish it truly is!)

Once we were educated on open adoption, we quickly changed our minds. We went from one extreme to the other. We no longer wanted a closed adoption...we wanted a VERY open adoption. We chose open adoption because of the benefits that each person of the adoption triad would gain. The birthparents would be able to see that they made the best choice for their children, to watch them grow up, and to continue to be a part of their children's lives. We would have access to medical histories and a lifetime connection to our children's birthfamilies. Open adoption is mostly about the child. Our children would grow up to know their family history, where they came from, and why their parents chose adoption. They would have someone to identify with, someone who looks like them, and most importantly, another family who loves them just as much as we do.

I knew if I could just get over the awkwardness of this new and unusual relationship, that I would be doing something amazing for my children.

Open adoption, for us, is a life choice. It is a choice we are making for our children. We see it as adding an entire family to ours to make a "mega-family". It isn't an easy relationship and it does take some work, but it is the most amazing thing to see how much love surrounds one little girl -- that makes it worth every bit of effort!

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